Let’s talk Mom Guilt.

Not every day is going to be perfect. Some days babies fall. Some days you have to work late. Some days you use the tv as a distraction. Some days sleep schedules don’t work out. And it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the guilt of it all.

Last month Grayson rolled off the couch and hit his head. Ugh the mom guilt. How could I let that happen? I just walked away for a minute. Obviously I know accidents happen, and he wasn’t hurt at all, but oh the guilt. That deep in your belly, heart-wrenching burn that just takes over. You want to just hold onto them forever or permanently cover them in bubble wrap. Make sure nothing else ever happens. Everyone I talked to (including the fire department who very quickly showed up to our house after a panicked 911 call) reassured me that he was fine and babies fall a lot. A 2-foot drop onto carpet was not going to do him any harm. But even the firemen couldn’t encourage me enough to get rid of the guilt. I had to remind myself every day for weeks that these things happen. That Grayson is happy and healthy. That this was just the first of many bumps and bruises my little explorer is going to encounter.

As a working mom, it’s very hard not to get overwhelmed by guilt some days. Even going back part-time means I’m leaving Baby G for 10 hours a day, 4 days a week. He’s been so used to spending all day, every day with me for 3 months. How could I just one day walk out the door and leave him for 10 hours? I can’t even explain to him that I’m coming back. What if he feels abandoned? How do I justify going to work over spending time with my brand new baby? Do I trust other people to make the same decisions I would make? I want him to bond with our nanny, but I have this irrational fear that he’ll love her more than me. Some days it’s very hard not to just stay home snuggling him all day. Ultimately I know that spending some time away from me will be good for him, but selfishly I want him all to myself. I want more time to keep bonding and building our relationship.

Some days I have to spend a lot of time reminding myself that I’m not always going to be perfect….far from it actually. But I’m exactly who my baby needs me to be, and every day creates new opportunities for me to be a better mama to him. I’ll make mistakes and let him fall off a couch and (occasionally) use a tv to distract him so I can get 5 minutes to wash my face. But that’s okay. Because there is still value in everything I do with Grayson. I provide for him everything that he needs from me.

We deal with a lot as mothers and there’s so much that people try to shame us and make us feel guilty for. Apparently, everyone else knows better and feels very compelled to let us know that. But I’m here to tell you that there is not one right way to parent. Every family, baby, and situation is so different. Crib vs co-sleeping. Breastfeeding vs formula. Cry it out vs no crying at all. Staying at home vs working. Nanny vs daycare. Not everything works for every baby. Parenting isn’t one size fits all and being a mother is hard enough without people constantly trying to “correct” what we are doing. Let us mother the way we feel we are meant to and just know that we are all doing the best we can.

You’re doing great mama!